“say ‘mama’.”

“dadada”

“not quite. say ‘mama’.”

“dadadadada!”

“mmamma. that’s me. ‘mama’.”

“dadadadadada!”

“mamamamamama”

“h-dadadada!”

“‘mmmmmmmammmmma’. like this: ‘mmmmmmmmmmama’.”

“DADADA!”

repeat until i give up or she gets bored

but anyway, i’m back now, and as long as she stays on the blue mat for the next few minutes, i should have enough time to bang out an update.

we had to cancel her 6 month checkup, so we don’t have 6 month stats for you. we did end up heading to the doctor three times in the past month however (faux ear infection, real stomach bug, delayed 6 month checkup) so we’ve learned that she’s gaining about a half-pound a week. at 7 months she was 16lbs 6oz and 26 inches long. that keeps her steadily in the 37th percentile for height and weight. her head circumference is 42cm, which is a bit above average but doesn’t make her look head-heavy …at least to me ;)

part of that steady weight gain is due to a full-on conversion to formula, rice, and veggies and fruits. she takes about 8 oz at a formula feeding, and more than a quarter cup of rice at those. we’re making our own baby food, which means pureeing and storing in icecubes for use later. she takes 2 “cubes” at a feeding, and often wants more. when that happens, we give her rice because i’m overly-cautious about allergic reactions to too much fruit/veggies too soon. i had them as a kid, and her reaction to tomatoes via breast milk was pretty intense when she was 5 weeks old.

her physical prowess continues to eclipse every other development path. she started pulling and creeping around 6 months and got serious about it a few weeks ago. last week, she decided that getting up on her knees instead of dragging her legs behind her was the way to go. she struggled with getting up there and staying up there, and usually collapsed back down when it was time to move. last night, she had the whole thing figured out. she rose up on her her knees and wobbled to get and test her balance. she gets a few steps now before gets impatient and drops back down to her belly. she hasn’t gone from laying to sitting up with purpose, but she has gotten very close to “accidentally” sitting up when she’s up on all fours and decides to turn. i can’t wait for the look on her face when she finds herself sitting.

her speech development is a bit behind the curve, but i keep reminding myself that’s because she’s so focused on the physical. she can laugh, but does so rarely (although more every day), and while she babbles, it’s most often a string of “ah-bah-bah-bah-bah” than “sets” of mis-matched vowels and consonants. she loves to squeal, and thinks clapping is a riot when you help her do it. if you sing (with the radio, with rockband, or just off the cuff), she’ll smile and laugh and squeal-sing along with you.

naps and food are pretty regular, too. she usually gets about 10-14 hours at night. that 14-hour stretch includes an early morning (6-7amish) snack and then a couple more hours at the end of it. daytime naps depend on when she wakes up, but she’s still picking up about 4-6 hours during the day. up for 3ish hours, down for 2. repeat until bedtime. usually it’s 2 decent sized naps, but if we get an early start, there’s a 3rd nap around 5 pm. naps are generally book-marked with food. on average she’s getting fed every 3-4 hours for 5 meals a day. some days we only manage 4 (because she’s slept through feedings), but they’re usually followed by 6 meal days (with an *early* morning one).

obligatory milestones checklist (courtesy of “what to expect”):
(per usual, only the ones not mentioned as attained in previous months are addressed here)

6 months:

• (probably) sit without support: at 6 she was a bit shaky, but a few days with the boppy behind her and she’s sitting like a champ. i can even walk away while she’s “up” without worrying she’s going to fall back and hit her head.
• (probably) razz: can do. all the time. it’s her favorite.
• (possibly) stand holding on to someone or something: she’s good with holding onto people, but holding onto things is still a bit in the future. she’ll do it for about 10-20 seconds and then collapse downwards or fall to the side.
• (possibly) object if you take a toy away: not so much with toys, but definitely with the bottle.
• (possibly) pass a cube from one hand to the other: about 3 weeks ago (6.5 months), she started doing this with purpose
• (possibly)look for a dropped object: sometimes. she’s not big on the object permanence stuff yet, which comes in handy when we need to hide the empty bottle she’s objecting to.
• (possibly) rake tiny objects with fingers: we’ve been giving her some little “puffs” to practice eating/grabbing with. she’s pretty solid at picking them up (not so much with putting in the mouth)
• (possibly) feed self cracker or other finger food: she’s still toothless, so we haven’t done much in the way of solid-er foods like that. she doesn’t really get the puffs yet. that or she doesn’t like them.
• (may even) creep or crawl: by 6 months she was starting to creep. now (7.25) she’s pretty much crawling and creeping whenever/where ever she feels like going.
• (may even) pull up to standing: not yet, but she’s started to pull on furniture and things. her arms aren’t quite strong enough. she’ll go from sitting to standing if you’ve got ahold of her arms, though. it’s more of a “push up and don’t fall over” than a “pull” skill.
• (may even) get into a sitting position: no, but ask me again in 48 hours ;)
• (may even) pick up tiny object with thumb and fingers: she likes to pluck at buttons and those little puff things. this started about 3 days ago.
• (may even) say “mama” or “dada” indiscriminately: we’re still working on saying “ma-ma” instead of “a-ma-ma-ma-ma…”.

7 months (most of the possiblies became probablies, but most of the may-evens stayed put)

• (probably) play peekaboo: not really. again, that object permanence lesson is a bit behind.
• (may even) play patty-cake or wave bye-bye: she’s started “twitching” her hand when someone is waving bye-bye at her in a very active “do what i do” fashion, so this probably isn’t too much further.
• (may even) cruise: no. (thank goodness)

(fun fact to know and tell: this single post was written around an impromptu baby bath, second breakfast (apples, rice, formula), nap time, my own shower (because it was nap time), a bit of warcraft, first lunch (6oz of formula), post-nap play time, and nap #2 and took appx 6 hours to complete)

it’s a learning process this month, though, so i’m not too disheartened. it’s a bit frustrating though. she’s a quick eater, whether she’s at the breast or the bottle, so this solid-food stuff is extra tedious in comparison. we’re also about to start weaning off the breast. i was considering weaning straight from breast to solids, but i think that’s going to take quite a while. for now we’re averaging one “solid” meal and one bottle a day, and i’m not pumping out the excess. we’re not really counting the solid meal as a meal, though. i think in the next couple of weeks, that’ll move to two times a day (consciously, not “averaging”), one in the morning and one in the evening so that i don’t get overly full in the gaps.

sorry, i’m mostly thinking out loud. you didn’t come here for that, you came here for milestones, didn’t you? well, if not, too bad that’s what you’re getting now :)

• (should be) laugh out loud: this is left over from 4 months. she laughs for certain, but still very rarely. i guess we’re not funny enough?
• (should be) on stomach, raise chest, supported by arms: rolling onto her stomach in the crib brought this skill up to par within days.
• (should be) the raisin thing: still haven’t tested this. we don’t really have raisin-sized things around.
• (probably) roll over (one way): what does one way mean? she can go from back to front and front to back just fine, but is better at one direction than the other
• (probably) say “ah-goo”: has this one down, but is much, *much* more entertained by squealing and gurgling in the back of her throat.
• (may possibly) sit without support: not yet, at least not easily, but we’re focusing on that during play time.
• (may even) pull to standing: no (thank goodness)
• (may even) stand holding onto someone/thing: she likes to stand on your lap, bounce up and down, or swing her hips like she’s impersonating elvis.
• (may even) object if you try to take a toy away: i watched her do this at a shower last week. it was highly entertaining
• (may even) work to get a toy out of reach: that’s how we’re encouraging her to crawl
• (may even) pass an object from one hand to the other: she’s doing this, but not with purpose yet. usually because she brings both hands plus the object to her mouth, but i’m not sure that’s relevant.
• (may even) look for a dropped object: not quite up on object permanence yet. she *does* like to take things and drop them out of her crib/car seat/jumper/changing table, etc. it’s a fun game.
• (may even) rake tiny object with fingers: again, no tiny things, but she will pick up links that are near by
• (may even) babble: not yet. verbal skills are still far behind the gross/fine motor ones

and a new feature: Kelly’s irrational, unfounded fears for Charlotte this month:

• autism: it runs in the family and has replaced peanut allergy as the “it” topic for the media. no other reason.
• crosseyed: also silly, but occasionally when she looks at me, they look a little “off.” i had this problem as a babe, but it was eventually determined that one side of my nose was a bit thicker than the other side, and that created an illusion.

before the next monthly update we’ll have upgraded to size 3 diapers, 6-9 months clothes, and had a baptism. if i get a chance, i’ll tell you about her very first professional portrait sitting. in the mean time, check flickr for some less-professional work.

and thusly, charlotte had her very first (accidental) taste of people food.

she can turn from back to stomach, you see, but not the other way around. not really anyway. which means that at night, she gets upset, arches her back, lands on her belly (often with her arm trapped under her), and gets upset. since she can’t flip back, she just pushes and fusses until she’s pressed up against the side and is furious. this has made nap times more difficult because her “so angry i’m about to pass out stage” is now the “so angry i can’t sleep” stage. plus, nervous mother that i am, i’m freaked out that she’s sleeping on her stomach/side, occasionally pressed up against the crib bars, and quite possibly sleeping on an arm in such a way as to make it fall asleep, with no real way to understand or correct any of this herself. if i roll her over, i wake her up and we start all over again.

i started resting a bit easier when i read an article about SIDS that mentioned that 2-4 months is the riskiest window, and that’s possibly linked to not being able to lift their heads well. statistically, once a baby can turn over, they’re also out of the riskiest spot. so now i don’t lie awake at night quite as much. i have started checking on her more often. i know it’s silly, but i know if i don’t i’ll just not-sleep, so i do.

nap times are our biggest challenge right now, but with a bit of coaxing and calming, we can usually pull it off. i look forward to when she can roll back over, even though i know that means crawling and other child-proofing milestones are close by.

so…on with the story!

at her 4 month checkup, the pediatrician noticed that one of her hips seemed “soft.” i’m not sure exactly how/what she was detecting, but a soft hip could imply that there was something wrong with her hip’s development. it didn’t seem likely that anything was wrong, given how well she could stand, kick, etc, and how non-uncomfortable she was. nonetheless, it was decided that she should get an ultrasound to check out the bone structure. at 4 months, ultrasound was still possible. if we’d waited until 6 months, she would have needed an xray to check it out, which is more invasive/risky, etc.

we spent the weekend sort of ignoring what might happen next, and worrying that everything we’d done had caused it. did we put her in the jumper too soon? am i somehow too rough with her when i change her? was all that kicking because she was uncomfortable, and not because she was super-strong? on the way to the appointment, the “what next” thoughts started creeping in. will she need a brace? a cast? surgery? will she be stick with a bum hip her entire life?

while we were getting the ultrasound, she was a perfect angel, and we started into the “she wasn’t always like this, you know” stories. when i got to the part about needing to swaddle her tightly for so long, my voice caught in my throat. was that it? i mean, there was no way we could have avoided the swaddling. we’d tried everything, struggled to get her to sleep for more than a minute at a time, except for when her legs were tightly swaddled. without, she kicked herself awake immediately.

we worried and worried until the technician said everything looked fine. we worried some more until the doctor’s office called the next day and said that everything was normal and they’d see us at 6 months.

and so charlotte had her first visit to children’s hospital and her first ultrasound and we all emerged perfectly unscathed.

…i’m not exactly sure why that is. i mean, we’ve been busy and all. we took a trip to dc to visit some friends. there was a bit of chaos at work (when isn’t there?), and then i sort of um…lost my job last week. that’s netted me both more and less free time short-term. it looks like i’m going to end up with more free-time mid-termish. there’s no immediate financial need for me to get another part-time job, and we think that being “job-less” is the best for both charlotte and me right now. when i’m not actively being a mom, i’ll have time to pursue some more personal projects and goals.

but enough about me. that’s what the other blog’s for, right?

charlotte had her 4 month checkup/shots last week. her numbers are:

• height: 24.25 inches (”average”)
• weight: 13lbs 2oz (”between 25 & 50% but closer to 50″)
• head…circumference?: 41cm (”a bit on the big side”)

no “let’s do a weight check in 2 weeks” drama, and my anxiety/irritation over the “she’s so small!” comments is calmed for now. it’s hard to hear that your child is average, or especially below average, even if it has nothing to do with ability or brain power. i know it’s silly, but i can’t help it. her cousin and her cohorts are all “winning” because she’s small. sigh. i’ll get over it.

we also had a bit of a hiccough with her checkup. everything’s perfectly fine, and i’ll put all that in a different post in the next couple of days.

so…all that’s left for this post is the other stats. I haven’t had a chance to get ahead in my “what to expect” reading, so this’ll be a surprise to me as well. i’m only going to list the things that i haven’t mentioned as accomplished in previous posts. and i’m feeling lazy today, so i’m lumping all of the “should, can probably, possibly, may even be able to…” etc together. she’s on target or ahead for everything but the arms-related stuff.

• laugh out loud: i think i’m doing her a disservice by comparing her to the paper-tearing boy. she’s certainly got a chuckle going, but it comes out rarely, still.
• on stomach, raise chest, supported by arms: she arches her back so well that she doesn’t really see the need to use her arms. arm strength/coordination is behind the rest of her physical development, certainly.
• pay attention to an object as small as a raisin: haven’t tested this, but i’m skeptical.
• roll over (one way): she can get onto her side fairly regularly, but not quite over yet. i don’t think she understands that’s the point.
• turn in the direction of a voice: definitely mine. sometimes for others, if she’s not too interested in what’s going on around her.
• say “ah-goo”: getting there. she’s mostly doing squealing, razzing, and gurgling, still.
• sit without support: not yet, but she’s doing pretty good with just a little support on a lap, in a bumbo, or in her jumper.
• object if you try to take a toy away: not a toy, but definitely a bottle/boob if she doesn’t think she was done. she’s also learned that going to her room when the lights are out means nap time, and that greatly displeases her.
• turn in the direction of a voice: i think this means “distinguishes voices from other sounds. in which case, not really i don’t think. maybe a little.

8:00 am-wake up and eat (often we have to wake her)
8:30 am-head back to sleep (sometimes she doesn’t get sleepy again until 9:30 or so)
sometime between 11am and 12:30pm-wake up and eat again (again, i often have to wake her)
2:30ish(sometimes earlier if she gets fussy or sleepy)-eat some more
sometime between 3 and 5 pm - another nap. usually about 2 hours long.
post-nap: more feeding
8:00 ish: food!
10:30 ish: food!
sometime between 10:30 and midnight: bedtime!

If you’re doing the math, that’s a stretch of almost 10 hours at night between feedings. now you see why we wake her up ;) it’s also only 6 feedings a day. we manage 7 on days where she’s awake for the bulk of the afternoon. this concerns me a bit, what with her small size, but she’s not unhappy and always drinks her fill, so i’m not too worried, at least intellectually.

and now, for posterity, milestone “expectations” from what to expect:

“should be able to”

• on stomach, lift head up 45 degrees passed this sometime during month 2 or so

“will probably be able to”

• laugh out loud she just started doing something that slightly resembles laughter
• on stomach, lift head up 90 degrees if only to escape the evils of tummytime ;)
• squeal in delight most definitely, in the last few days
• bring both hands together to put them in her mouth ;)
• smile spontaneously she’s been smiling at her mobile for weeks, and at me when i lean over her crib for the last week or so
• follow an object.. i’ll spare you the paragraph, but yes, she can track objects

“may possibly be able to”

• hold head steady when upright …since she was maybe 3 weeks old?
• on stomach, raise chest, supported by arms …once or twice maybe? she really hates tummy time
• roll over(one way) she threatens to on the changing table all the time, but again, evil tummy time keeps this one at bay
• grasp a rattle held to backs of fingers for a couple of weeks
• pay attention to an object as small as a raisin …i don’t think so. she’s a bit too enraptured with the world around her to get her to focus on something so small, yet.

“may even be able to”

• bear some weight on legs when held upright *some* weight?! she spends most of her evenings standing on our laps, popping up and down, keeping her balance freakishly well
• reach for an object within the last day or so, she’s started grabbing at the toys dangling from her interactive seat
• keep head level with body when pulled to sitting if she’s awake and not sleepy, she’s got her head held up, no matter what the circumstances. she’s a freak ;)
• turn in the direction of a voice, particularly mommy’s turn? maybe not, but she clearly recognizes my voice. if she’s fussing in her crib and i call out as i’m approaching, she’ll calm down…at least temporarily ;)
• say “ah-goo” or similar vowel-consonant combination she makes all manner of sounds, something she’s picked up in the last few days, but i’m not sure she’s doing any sort of active vowel/consonant pairings just yet
• razz aaaaalmost. she’s a big fan of sticking out her tongue and vocalizing as she drools. i suspect that as soon as she stops drooling through it, she’ll make a mighty noise.

i have to keep reminding myself that she’s not so much “behind” with the tummytime related skills, but that she’s far ahead with the other gross motor skills. she hates the mats and the floor, but ryan’s had some success with her on the couch. of course, this won’t last once she starts to roll over in earnest ;)

i’m struggling with staying motivated to breastfeed. every time someone is surprised or unexpectedly impressed with the fact that i’m still doing it, what i hear is “nobody expects you to still be doing it.” even my aunt, who breastfed for over a year with her children, had assumed i had stopped by now.

i broke a few “rules” of breastfeeding. we use a pacifier to …well, pacify her. we probably wouldn’t have ever started, but thanks to colic, it was pretty much a necessity to keep us sane and her free from unnecessary distress. we use it less often now, but still a few times a day. charlotte also gets fed from a bottle on average once a day or more. usually this comes in 2-3 bottles/day shifts while i’m at work, so she has days where almost half of her meals come from a bottle. add that to the pacifier usage, and even though she’s well past the age where nipple confusion is a risk, she’s getting a bit lazy when faced with the challenge of a breast instead of a bottle. it’s something we can work around/through, but it means breastfeeding is becoming more work instead of less.

and then there’s the cardinal rule of breastfeeding survival that we broke: we’re supplementing with formula. i cannot tell you how many times i’ve read/heard the warnings against the evil powder and how i should put any formula samples under lock and key so that i’m not tempted during a weak moment.

basically, i was faced with a choice. either i’m attached to a breastpump or a baby for a very large portion of some of my days, or we trade out a meal or two a day with formula. even if she was only drinking breastmilk, pumping messes with supply. it’s manageable, but it’s rough. if it was just an inconvenience for me, it would be one thing, but with all the drama about her size, the stress of making sure i was producing enough would be my undoing.

well, thanks to enfamil dropping a few sample cans of formula on our doorstep, the choice became even easier to make. by my calculations, we’ll run out of formula sometime in april…when she’s almost 6 months old and likely ready to start transitioning to solids anyway. to get her acclimated, we’ve started giving her about 2 meals a week (4oz each) with formula, and i’ve encouraged her babysitters to give her a formula “snack” if she eats through the breastmilk before we get home and she’s very hungry. it’s all been in prep for my full days at work, which start this week.

i still want to breastfeed as much as possible until she’s 6 months at least, but i know that the more we supplement, the more difficult it will be to keep supply going long term, and “going back to work” is another key period where it gets extra challenging. i’m also self-aware enough that i’m probably doing a bit of pre-sabotage to try and control when i stop breastfeeding instead of having it fade on me when i’m not prepared.

i suppose i just need to keep focused on why this was the best choice for our family, and remember that buying formula, bottle maintenance, and most importantly, losing that bond are things i don’t really want to do yet.