Party of Four?

For the past few months, the weekly emails I receive from baby/parenting sites have all featured toilet training or toilet training products or links to articles that answer the “is my toddler ready?” question.

I have been ignoring them.

I mean, she’s 19 months old! I’m barely comfortable referring to her as a toddler, despite the fact that she’s a walking, talking, opinionated mini-person. There is no way she’s ready for toilet training. No Way.

Earlier this week, in defiance of another set of related links, I followed through to prove to the site full of experts that they were wrong.

And of course, they’re not. I mean, she’s not ready quite yet, but she’s well on her way, and much closer to being ready than I am ready to deal with.

For starters, she’s been taking off her clothes for months now. She’s also been echoing me when I change her diaper and talk about all the poop. She is very proud of eliciting cartoonish reactions from me when the diaper has a mighty load in it. Yesterday at daycare she pulled some poop out of her diaper and presented it to one of her caregivers. She may have just been mimicking another child who did it earlier in the day, but if that’s not awareness, I know not what is.

We struggle occasionally with diapers designed for babies up to 10 pounds heavier than charlotte not being able to hold a full load of pee, and today it was worse than it’s ever been. I’m vigilant about diaper-changing, so I just assumed this was because she was drinking too much in one sitting. It turns out that having a bladder developed enough to hold onto urine for a while so that it all comes out at once instead of just leaking all day long is a sign.

She’s either mastered or is well on her way to mastering almost everything on that checklist. It’s basically down to “Can sit down quietly in one position for two to five minutes” and of course “Mother is prepared to let her daughter grow up a bit more.”

It’s anybody’s guess which one will come first :)

“What is that, Charlotte?”

“day-dee”

“Bay-Bee”

“bah-bah-bah. bah-day-dee. bah-bah-bah. bah-day-dee. bah-bah-bah. bah-day-dee. bah-bah-bah. bah-day-dee.”

we are raising a rather polite child. we introduced “please” as a concept a few months ago and although she’s interpreted it largely as “if you do this, they’ll have to give you what you want”, it’s a part of most exchanges with her. recently, she’s started saying her own version of “thank you” as well. sometimes even without prompting.

this weekend, something a bit odd happened. we were a memorial day/graduation party and sampling cake. like most deserts, we used the cake and ice cream as a teaching opportunity for the more, please, and thank you concepts. at this point, they’re largely reinforcers. she’d sign “more” as soon as you ask “would you like more?” of anything …except the cake. when we’d asked if she’d like more cake, she lifted one arm in the air and waved it about. At first, we thought she was distracted by something, but she didn’t have any issues asking for more ice cream, just cake.

eventually, we realized what we’d done. one of our family favorite songs is seven by they might be giants. it’s a fun song that repeats the refrain “we want cake! where’s our cake?” several times. in the car, we’ve been encouraging charlotte’s participation by raising our fists in the air and pumping them with great fury.

context is key.

we officially have a walker on our hands. she’d been getting closer and closer for the past few weeks and her biggest (only?) hurdle to unsupported walking was being completely uninterested in moving forward without someone holding both of her hands. occasionally, i could get her to walk forward while just holding onto one hand, but that was only to get to my other outstretched hand and she would cry and fuss the entire way. i tried cheering over her complaints to show her it was a good thing, but she would have None Of It. it was clear by the lack of weight pressing into my hand(s) that she didn’t need them to propel herself forward and regain her balance on the next step. like learning to stand, it worked best when there was a perfect storm of distraction and interest. if she got too excited, she would be frustrated by her slow progress and drop to her knees to crawl over.

this weekend we travelled to Bryan, TX to visit some friends, and i had hoped that the extra distractions and excitement would do the trick. i didn’t have to wait long.

when gina and i returned from the grocery store yesterday, ryan declared that she had taken several steps (4 or 5) in pursuit of their cat (kitty mae). she only dropped to her knees when she reached the cat (the awesome, completely docile cat that lets her do almost anything and when she has had enough, she simply gets up and walks out of reach). this morning, she did it twice again, and easily tolerated the one-hand lead around the room. the only time she protested was when she was too tired or excited to deal with the pace.

speaking of steps, her favorite activity at our friends’ house seems to be scaling their staircase. she’s seen stairs before at her grandmother’s house, but climbing them was something she did slowly and cautiously. not so anymore. she races to the top of the steps any chance she gets and will only tolerate being removed so that she can scale them again. ryan has started working on going down the stairs safely. she crawls for a while, but when she reaches the section of the stairs with a bannister, she stands up and lowers herself while clutching the poles.

we’ll be in texas for another 4 days. who knows what other skills she’ll pick up!

as predicted by many charlotte-fans, she’s gone from zero words to a new “word” almost every day this past week.

she very clearly says “hi.” she says it with a wave when greeting (or noticing) someone. it occasionally sounds like “hi there.” which may be her attempt at “hi ” only she hasn’t grasped that quite yet. this has probably been going on for about a week.

she also points at dogs/puppies when she sees them and says “doggie” (“dgah-ghee”). she does this fairly consistently, and doesn’t really use that sound combination at other times with purpose, although it does come out quite often when she babbles.

along with “hi”, she’ll also wave and say “bye-bye” (which, since she doesn’t get the b-sound, comes out “duh-die”). this one is quite the crowd-pleaser since she does it every time we get out of the elevator, or when she’s being carried away from *anyone* at the store, mall, street, etc.

still no clear mama or dada (i think everyone’s “name” might be dada to her). i think the next words might be shoe, sock, or zipper, since those seem to be the most reinforced words.

as far as comprehension, she very clearly understands “give that to me,” “can i have that, please?”, “not in your mouth”, “arms up” (for taking off clothes, getting in the high chair), and is working on “what is that?”. she can sign “milk” (which really just means “cup to drink out of”), if you point and ask. she’ll fairly regularly say “doggie”, but most of the rest of the time she just sort of stares at you with an “i don’t know” look on her face. i guess that means she understands the question, though.

along those same lines, she loves dancing to music, especially while watching herself in the mirror, and will even move along with “head, shoulders, knees and toes” and “hot potato.” we caught her doing the “mashed bananas” part in the car today and it was a-DOR-able.

oh, lots of adorable things!

• respond to “how big is charlotte” by raising her hands above her head
• respond to “how old are you?” by gesturing with “one”
• respond to “is that a hat?” by putting it on her head
• respond to “high five” and “low five” by putting out her hand and sometimes smacking yours
• put something “in” a container when prompted (doesn’t always let go and often takes it right back out)
• dance (to music unasked or just when asked. moves her head, arms, and bounces)
• clap when she hears applause (on tv, in crowds)
• push any button or anything that looks like a button
• respond to “blow kiss” by putting her hand in her mouth (we’re working on the second part)
• gesture along with “head, shoulders, knees, and toes” relatively well (even the “eyes, ears, mouth and nose” part)
• point to a few body parts (emerging skill except for “ears”, she’s got that down). sometimes she’ll point to yours instead (especially nose)

and some useful things, too!

• understand what “no”, “not in your mouth”, and “gentle” (for petting animals and not pulling hair) mean (but doesn’t always comply)
• help you dress her by putting her arms through sleeves or stiffening her legs.
• trys to put on her socks (although she doesn’t open them, just puts them on her feet)
• eat finger-foods relatively neatly, even out of a bowl instead of just sprinkled on a plate.
• nibble larger food (soft pretzel sticks, cookies) into smaller pieces (although this is usually after trying to cram it all in her mouth at once and choking a bit)
• “eat” with a spoon. (she’s got the in the bowl/in the mouth step down, but is missing “scoop”)
• “help” you get her out of car seats, strollers (sometimes this is not a good thing
• turn around and lower herself off couches, beds, and other cliffs (but doesn’t always judge the distance down ;)
• ride on your shoulders and keep her balance (so long as you hold her legs)

and some not-useful stuff ;)

• unvelcro her shoes (this is not helpful when she’s in the car)
• cry when someone leaves the room and doesn’t take her too (she stops about 10 seconds later if she’s distracted
• express her distaste in her food by dropping/throwing it off the side of her chair
• pout when she doesn’t get her way by slapping/hitting whatever’s near by or beating the table

i’m sure there’s a bunch more, so if you’re the baby equivalent of “what? she can’t tie her shoe yet and she’s already 8 years old?” she probably can. i just forgot to mention it. ;)

this is another grey area. i think the best answer is “sort of.”

i may just be very picky. to me, it’s not going to count as a “first word” until she says it without provocation consistently and accurately (if everything is a ‘dog’ then nothing is).

that having been said, she babbles constantly and is clearly trying to mimic sentence structure, and not always repeating the same sounds over and over. she points to things in books and babbles like she’s reading words. these are all things that they say come after first words, which is why i think i’m picky. she’s got lots of sounds, too. most of the basic vowel sounds and a bunch of consonants (dd, mm, nn, ng, bb, tt). zz, ss zth all come out like “th” but you can tell it’s intentional.

her first “word” will probably be “dog” (lots of visits to grandma and seeing them while we’re out), “dada”, “mama”, “sock”, “shoe”, or “zero” (she points to the “0″ on our front door while were trying to get in and we talk about it). she may already be saying “hi”, but it’s impossible to tell. almost everything starts off as “hi.” babysitters have claimed she’s said “hi dog” and “see ya” clear as day, but since i’ve also heard her say “jesus” (possibly “cheezits”) and “cigarettes” clear as day, i’m highly skeptical.

oh! and she does know a small amount of sign language. she does the sign for hungry, but i’m not sure how much of that is real. she does it when you’re asking her if she’s hungry so it might just be a mimic thing. or she’s always hungry. she definitely knows the sign for more, although it’s clear that it really just means “give me that thing so i can put it in my mouth.” she does it when her tray is empty and she can see more food. she does it if you’re eating/drinking something and she wants it. she also doesn’t always do it when you ask her if she wants more. sometimes she claps her hands or raises her arms or pushes the tray away.

we’re working on getting her to understand “all done”, “milk”, and “juice,” as well as “please” and “thank you.” she’s also got a few more gestures that we’re trying to discern. having her communicate with us in ways other than crying or fussing by talking is something i didn’t expect to be so moving.

she responds to several commands (give me that, put that in the box, where is your ear/nose, etc), so i think she’s moments away from getting it all. i expect there to be a helen keller “water” moment in the next few weeks and suddenly her vocabulary will skyrocket.

Eh. not quite.

she’s been really close for months, or at least that’s the way it has seemed since september. she started cruising and we thought “surely, it can’t be long now.” but her progress sort of stagnated. it’s not a developmental thing (she’s still months and months (and months) away from someone other than her parents being concerned), she’s just working it out at her own pace. she also hates shoes, due to not wearing the much as a baby-baby (even the soft-soled ones). trying to get her to keep them on has been quite a challenge.

i think part of the reason for the delay is how fast she can crawl. for several months, even though she could cruise very well and stand relatively well, she wasn’t really interested in moving forward that way. you could almost see it in her face. she’d think about taking a step and get this look that said “screw this. crawling’s so much faster.” she’d drop down and take off towards her goal. standing was only useful as a stage between sitting and climbing. balance was never a consideration, and it turns out balance is key.

the other “reason” i think is lack of socialization. i’ve noticed over the past year that whenever she’s around someone her size she studies them intently and the next day she can do (or is trying to do) something that she couldn’t the day before. since she’s staying at home with me, she doesn’t have as much exposure to walkers her size to give her the idea that it’s the way to go. at her birthday party, however, there was a 15 month old chasing everyone around and it started to really click for her. maybe it was just that he was getting more attention than her.

at 13 months she likes doing laps around the kitchen with her grocery cart. she’s also interested grabbing your hands and leading you around the house. sometimes she’ll tolerate doing it one handed, but the speed gets her down. she requires lots of cheering to convince her this something she wants to do. we’ve had a few moments where she’s taken a small step on her own, but that’s usually just to fall into someone’s waiting arms. there is no dismount ;)

standing is much the same way. she’ll pull up with ease (and has been for months), but to keep her standing, you have to distract her and/or then cheer her on. she’s up to almost 10 minutes in the same place (assuming there’s something worth watching on the tv) and can even bounce around while she’s up there and compensate with her balance. she’s really good at falling safely, though, which is very important. it’s also a good indicator of how tired she is. sloppy falls means it’s nap time.

a couple of days ago, i nabbed some videos of her current progress:

standing:

pushing a cart:

i’m looking forward to christmas and exposure to her walking cohorts to really finish off the lessons.