Party of Four?

today (which is technically almost week 37) was my 36 week checkup. it included an ultrasound.

the ultrasound was great in some ways, a bit of let down in others. charlotte is very healthy, a decent size (6lbs 10oz today), and very snugly head down (could have told you that). she’s also quite the mobile little kicker (could have told you that, too). according to the ultrasound technician, charlotte should be making her debut on november 1st.

i was looking forward to *seeing* her a bit more, and unfortunately we didn’t get to see much. she’s just so big right now, that there wasn’t any great “pan down the body” shots. her arms and legs took up the entire screen and blipped in and out. because her head is in a good position for labor, her face was in a crap-tastic place for getting a glimpse.

i shouldn’t complain, i know, and i’m not really. having such a great glimpse of her so close to the end (and so long after the last one), was very cool and very reassuring.

we also had a “me” checkup. i am 80% effaced and starting to dilate, so that’s pretty cool. my bp was a bit up, my ankles were a bit … plump so we talked about what i needed to do to stay healthy for the next few weeks. the answer? “limited activity.” i’ll be spending the next few weeks with my feet up on the sofa and doing minimal chores and such. fortunately i’m not stuck on full bed rest, and i’ll be doing my best to make sure it stays that way.

one “nice” thing about all of this: you, dear reader, will have fairly frequent updates. i mean, what else am i going to do? write thank you notes?

as promised: a brief video of what is a nightly ritual.

unfortunately for you, charlotte became camera shy once we finally got the the camera out, so ryan was only able to capture a small wave. usually she’s much more active than that and it lasts for anywhere from 10 – 20 minutes.

oh, and that dark spot near the top is what’s “left” of my belly-button (it’s pretty much a flat plane at this point), surrounded by my body’s interpretation of a linea negra (which is a crooked line that sort of “spills” pigment around my belly button).

so um…i don’t know if this is what nesting actually feels like, but i’m pretty sure something new is happening with me.

this weekend we had a bit of a blitzkrieg finale to most of our pre-baby activities. friday night we took a class on pregnancy and labor massage. saturday i attended my last shower. sunday we attended an “all day” infant care class (which lasted until about 2ish), picked up a gift that had been delivered to a local baby boutique, and visited friends who just had their first child.

after all of that, i sort of went a bit … nuts.

because i feel like cutting the tags off all the pink clothes we’ve received might be jinxing us, i’m not planning on doing the absurd amount of washing and packing that needs to be done until after our thursday appointment (it has an ultrasound). we did wash the fabric that goes with our bassinet, a few gender-neutral receiving blankets, and a “just in case” outfit for going home. i think doing that little bit of laundry, and putting the bassinet where it goes in our bedroom was what finally pushed me over the edge.

i built the bouncer, which didn’t take very long and wasn’t enough to meet my need to build/do something.

i took the infant carrier out of it’s box, only to discover it was completely pre-assembled. that makes complete sense, really, but was a bit disappointing. i had nothing to do but adjust the straps and try to cram various stuffed animals into the seat. i could have gone downstairs and tried to install the carseat itself, but it was late and would probably be a bit too physically challenging for me. all that bending and leaning and such.

instead, i cracked open the box of the stroller frame put it together, snapped the carrier in place. un snapped. collapsed the stroller. un-collapsed and put the carrier back on. repeated 2 or 3 times.

it still wasn’t enough. i have a general “rule” that i don’t put away gifts until i’ve written the thank you notes. it’s partly a motivator, and partly a way to help jog my memory when i’m going back to write the note. i broke the rule sunday night. my mother had given me a giant basket that was crammed full of clothes and a few other things. i took everything out of the basket and put it in neat little themed piles.

this took quite a while and required that i stand up at the counter to do so. after such a full day (note the lack of a nap), my body started complaining quite loudly that it was time to be done. i spent about an hour or so just kind of sitting on the couch, tapping my hands and *thinking* about what i could do next, once my body got over that whole being tired and sore thing.

monday wasn’t better.

i woke up about an hour before my alarm and just decided to get moving. by the time we got to work, i was sort of skipping and eager. i was also talking an absurd amount, like i do when i’m nervous about something (i was not). i spent the large part of the morning cleaning up/out my desk. it’s very clean and orderly now. i did all of this with a rather sore shoulder, but i didn’t really care. around nap time (2-3pm), i could feel a part of me asking for a nap, but the part in control didn’t really care. so i kept going.

after work we went to target and picked up pretty much everything we needed to build the labor/post partum bags. i don’t really expect the doctor to say “go give birth” at my checkup on thursday, but just in case, i want to be ready. i’m 36+ weeks after all. it’s past time to have built a bag.

i was going to build it last night, but i was too tired once i got home.

i woke up this morning too tired as well.

the thing is, my brain hasn’t shut off. it’s sort of hard to describe. it’s not a very manic feeling. i feel in control, i just really want to move forward with whatever task i’m working on and go to the next one as quickly as possible. all day, even though i was too tired to do much of anything (i took a nap), i was constantly plotting what i would do as soon as i was able.

still left to do:
- install carseat in car
- actually pack the labor and post-partum bags
- write thank you notes
- write the birth plan
- put some finishing touches on the baby’s room (mostly the changing table area)
- prep and wash *everything* that will fit/be used by a newborn and a 0-3 month old.

i don’t have pictures, but i may have a video of charlotte dancing in my belly to share with you soon.

friday i came home from work a little early because it was time to be tired. after resting a bit, i started prepping for tonight’s party by consolidating the gifts from last weekend’s shower. i had them all in their original bags while i wrote the thank you notes, but i wanted them all sort of “away” before they house got full of folks.

i worked too hard. i know that. i irritated my bursitis and my swollen-ish ankles got seriously swollen. ah well, it was fun and worth it. afterwards i went to sit on the couch for a while and make up for all that labor. charlotte woke up, did a little yoga (lots of stretches) and went back to sleep. about an hour later, i got up to change back into “going out” clothes (ie: jeans and a tshirt for running errands) and noticed that my stomach was a different shape.

charlotte is lightening!

i look like a man with a beer gut hanging over his pants, without having anything constricting at my “waist”. my belly button had been pointing straight forward, now points to a spot about two feet in front of me on the floor. i can no longer set things on the top of my stomach because there’s a slope where the shelf used to be. unfortunately this also means that she has all new places to kick and stretch, fun new nerves and body parts to press on, and *plenty* of room for her feet to move about by my ribs, but i’ll take it.

i know this isn’t really any indicator of anything other than i’m a first time mother nearing the end of her pregnancy. it’s not like lightening occurs exactly 2 weeks before labor or anything, but it’s progress and progress makes me happy.

in other news, our friends had their baby earlier this week. this is significant outside of the realm of generally happy news because her due date was a month ahead of mine. there is only one more baby in queue before charlotte and the two others that are due the first few days in november. visiting elisabeth in the hospital was another “now please” boost as well. i held her and all i could think of was charlotte and how much i wanted to meet her.

(insert standard lack-of-picture excuse here)

today marked the beginning of a key milestone in my pregnancy. it was my last 2-week appointment. starting with my next appt (36 weeks) i’ll be going every week. it was also the first appointment where the doctor (or in this case, the nurse practitioner) checked for dilation and effacement. no news other than we’re both still plenty healthy. the np guesstimated that she’s mostly head down, but definitely favoring my right side. she was concerned about my ankles, which were considerably swollen by the time i had my appointment. they were worse than i’ve seen them in weeks, though, since my appointment a month ago where i got scolded, so she let me off with a warning. truth be told, it was the drive, the waiting room, and sitting on that examining bench that did it. they were “fine” before i’d left the office.

last night we took the breastfeeding class, which we both really enjoyed. it helped me go from “i’m going to try and breastfeed, and hopefully succeed” to “i’m going to breastfeed and persevere through the hard parts.” it also convinced us to get a really-real pump. before i was thinking that a hand-pump wound get me through any bumps along the way, and that we would rent a pump when i went back to work. after last night, the hand-pump felt like a waste of money. even a decent one would be awkward and time consuming, and not necessarily help much with over-engorgement. buying one of the pricey but high quality pumps will ultimately be cheaper than renting, and much more convenient for traveling. plus, if i pump while also feeding charlotte during the day, there will be milk available for ryan and charlotte’s extended family to feed her as well (once we’re out of the “nipple confusion” woods, that is). this is important to me not only because i want others to have the bonding experience, but because it’ll be easier for charlotte to transition if she’s used to various people feeding her.

my attitude has taken a lovely shift towards eagerness in the past few days. the classes and the support of everyone who was at sunday’s shower have given me a real boost of confidence in my ability to take care of an itty, bitty baby. so now i want the itty, bitty baby to show up. i’d like to wait a couple of weeks to get her fully baked in there, but once she’s good to go, it will be time to go!

ah well, if having so many pregnant people in my life recently has taught me anything, it’s that the baby clearly has his or her own timetable and the moms are completely at their mercy.

no pictures just yet. i’ll try to get one tomorrow.

oh! and as a supplement to talking about how great my husband is, i’d like to mention how great my family, friends, co-workers, and house guests have been in the past few months as well. this would be so much harder without all of their support and generosity.

thanks guys!

so, my husband is pretty damn spectacular.

he has, in the past few months, taken every crazy thing i’ve done in complete stride. he picks up everything i drop (when i let him), he helps me up when i get stuck in a chair (also when i let him), and basically has gone out of his way on a daily basis to make sure there’s nothing i need. occasionally he gets a bit over-zealous with the water offering, but you know, nobody’s perfect ;)

the past week or so, i’ve been particularly crazy.

monday i burst into random tears at lunch. he pulled his chair closer to mine, calmed me down, and then did random silly things until i was smiling.

wednesday i came to the conclusion that “nobody was ever going to buy the mattress and the bedding” and that we needed to buy it right then. even if it meant treking out to the far, far county to get it. and we did. the next day my mother expressed disappointment that someone had bought the bedding and now she couldn’t. oh well.

friday morning, after a random nightmare i started crying as well (love them hormones!). ryan woke up, listened to the litany of things that might be upsetting me, and then cheered me up to the point i was able to go back to sleep.

today, to thank him, i woke him up 2 hours before he got up naturally to have him feel a braxton-hicks contraction. after he expressed appropriate awe at the hardness of my abdomen, he thanked me for waking him up and promptly went back to sleep.

we both know this will only get worse, and you wouldn’t know it to look at him.

hooray for him!

oh gosh, what a difference a few weeks make. let’s see…

oh! two weeks ago we went and took a tour of the hospital/birthing center that we’ll be using. it was a very surreal experience. seeing everything, imagining us in that place made me feel better (one less unknown), but knowing we’d back in 4-7 weeks most likely was very … intimidating. even ryan got a bit spooked and he’s been relatively un-spookable this entire time.

we’ve also started taking classes. i procrastinated a bit with calling, so we’re stacking them up fairly tightly in the 8th month at about one per week. last week we took the cpr class, which made me feel much more prepared. next week is breastfeeding, followed by “baby weekend” where we have massage (for pregnancy and labor) on friday night and a full day (8ish-3ish) of infant care on sunday.

and then there’s the showers. one tomorrow, one next weekend (which is also a house-warming party for us), and one the weekend after (smack dab between the two classes). we’re about to go from very little baby stuff to more than we have room for. it’s going to ease my mind considerably in terms of how prepared we are for charlotte’s arrival.

one more thing i’m doing to prepare for her big day is reading up on a bunch of different laboring techniques. i’ve already decided that science is my friend, so i’ll be going the medicated/iv’d/monitored route, but i know there still somethings to learn from “natural” methods. Specifically how to manage pain *before* the drugs kick in. i’ve picked up a couple of books, one on the bradley method and one that’s more of a general meditation guide. they aren’t telling me much i don’t know about meditation and channeling your focus inward (something i’m already familiar with), but they’re all over the “why doctors and medicine is evil” stuff. one of the books is so out of date (first published in 1984) that it’s just flat out wrong. i thought i was doing a decent job of filtering out the propaganda, but it seems to be catching up a bit with me. i blame hormones and stress and “omg i’m giving birth very soon!” stuff. once i get through them completely, i’ll probably post really-real reviews. …you know, like i’ve been planning for the books i’ve actually completed ;)

i’m also napping almost every day. fortunately everyone at work is very understanding. i take off around 2 or 3pm, sleep for a couple of hours and catch up on work later in the day. i do not like this, because it requires giving up way more control than i’d like way earlier than i’d like (you know, before the day i go into labor ;) ) but there’s little i can do about it.

so that’s pretty much it. there’s really not much to report on charlotte. we get checkups every couple of weeks now, and she’s doing just fine. at 36 weeks (2ish weeks from now), we’ll have another sonogram. i’m looking forward to seeing her again, to see how much she’s actually grown and such.

no decent pictures either this week (we’re such slackers), but i’ve got a couple from random events that are share-worthy and show how much my belly has grown.

bye now!

i noticed a couple of days ago that my pants were fitting funny. yesterday i realized it’s because my ass doesn’t seem to be as large as it was.

can that be true? i’m almost in my 8th month and my ass is actually *shrinking*? that’s just not in keeping with my world view. i mean, sure, i haven’t gained much weight in the past month or so and charlotte certainly has, but still, a smaller ass?

alas, i was wrong. as a previously pregnant co-worker pointed out, my ass wasn’t getting smaller. my hips were spreading and my ass was flattening out as it stretched to keep up.

lame.

(posty-post later?)