How Am I? I’m Pregnant

People keep asking me how I’m feeling (the nerve!) and until recently, I’ve been struggling with how to answer. Since Easter Sunday was an opportunity for several family members who don’t often see me to check in on my pregnancy, I got lots of practice trying out my favorite answer.

You see, here’s what I don’t want to happen:

Concerned Party: How are you feeling?

Me: Okay, I guess. My back hurts and tylenol can only do so much after I’ve over-extended myself, which I can’t stop doing because I have a toddler and a life and neither one cares that I feel like crap. I can’t sleep because my joints hurt and I’m freaked out. My allergies are bugging me and I can’t seem to shake this cold because the medicine I take for that doesn’t work as well right now. Plus, I can’t breathe thanks to the kid that’s hanging out where my lungs are supposed to expand. I’m kinda panicked about having a second kid and how not-ready our home is for a second child. Oh, and I shouldn’t have a soda or a glass of wine or whatever that fruity thing is you’re drinking, so I’m pretty bummed out by this glass of ice water.

CP Response #1: Well, you’re pregnant! What’d you expect?

CP Response #2: Well, you’re the one that chose to get pregnant again!

CP Response #3 (that I don’t actually get, but I would probably give or at least think really loudly if the situations were reversed): Wow. Complain much? Sorry I asked.

I can’t help but feel like I’m giving the impression I’m a whiner, when really nothing is “wrong”. The end of pregnancy just sort of sucks so if you ask me how I’m feeling and I give you details, that’s what they are. Responding with “fine” doesn’t work in these situations because people are actually inquiring about my health. Plus, “fine” is clearly a lie. I may only be 7.5 months pregnant, but according to various reports, I’m carrying around over 8 months of baby. That’s beyond the point when things start to get miserable again.

To avoid that version of the conversation, here’s what usually happens:

CP: How are you feeling?

Me: Pregnant. (or if it’s a particularly rough day/moment) Really Pregnant.

CP: (laughs) Well that’s obvious. Everything okay?

Me: Yeah, I’m just pregnant. Everybody’s fine and healthy, but being this pregnant feels like crap.

CP: Well, it won’t be long now (or) Looking forward to being done?

Me (stifling panic attack): Oh, he’s still got plenty of baking to do and the house isn’t quite ready for him. But it’ll be fine. Now if you’ll excuse me, I really need to get more water and sit down. Enjoy your daiquiri.

Everyone’s happy! People who are actually interested in or feel like prying further can get a litany of complaints, or a brief discussion of why I’m feeling extra crappy and how big the baby might be/get before it’s time to deliver. Occasionally this turns into a discussion about how difficult two babies can be, which I either faux-laugh off or confess that I’m actually a bit panicked about that, depending on my audience.

So that’s what I tell ‘em. Even my doctor. When it comes down to it, I’m just pregnant and it’s hardly newsworthy. I know that with 10 weeks to go, I’m only going to feel more pregnant before it gets “better” and that likely I’ll be begging to start the post-birth stage because even though “better” just means “different,” different can be very good.

Tags: , ,

blog comments powered by Disqus